September 9th

I think I have officially stopped Breastfeeding, and I am a little sad about it. Breastfeeding came so easy with Delaney she really made it a great pleasure. she wasn't a hard baby at all in that department. I heard it was going to be so hard to stop nursing her, people would tell me it took them so long to wean, but it was so easy to wean her I had to stop and think wow am I really done is it over? She has started sleeping through the night now for the past 3 days. I put her crib bumper back in her crib and I think that has a lot to do with her sleeping so well. she is in wool covers over her cloth so her little bum gets a lot of air flow which I think is so much more comfortable for her, and she is walking like crazy now so she is pretty tired when her little head hits the mattress. My baby is growing up so fast. I am starting to freak out. Today I was talking to my Grandma on the phone and I was telling her how freaked out I am about going on a the cruise and I almost started crying. I am so scared to go and have something happen to us, I can hardly write about it now without crying. (luckily no body can see if I am or not). I am such a worry wart I know, but I really can't help it. Sometimes I think I have mild OCD when it comes to stuff like that I almost feel like I have to worry or over think every thing. if I don't' worry something bad might really happen. Its super hard to explain, I am sure others out there can relate and explain it so much better then me. All I know is that I can't be one of those people that are everything is going to be fine Cause what if its not. Then what huh. I have these lame conversations with my self all day everyday back and forth the two little Reginas in my Brain arguing with themselves over what to worry about and what not to worry about. I see why some people just snap. Can you just picture two little Mes yelling at each other lol oh just that thought alone mad me smile Thanks self I needed that.